Category: Politics

We Were Wrong About America

by Ashley filed under Politics

By John Palovitz







Politics & Marriage

by Ashley filed under Divorce, Life, Politics

Before shit went down in my marriage – before all the final straws that led to me asking for a divorce – it was 2016 and I was heavily questioning who I was married to. It was the year I distinctly recall googling: Trump is ruining my marriage. So, you know, I could see if others were feeling the same thing. I can’t even remember what those google results showed; probably because, at the end of the day, only my marriage mattered and to that end, it felt as if Trump was ruining my marriage. I’m saying that facetiously, for those keeping score, because surely a man not directly involved in our marriage could not literally be the reason for its demise. I say that instead to point to the division that took place in our very own home; a microcosm of what was happening throughout our country.

Truth is, before 2016, I really gave a rat’s ass about politics. I didn’t see myself as heavily affected one way or another by who was in power; rather, my experience showed me that whomever was in power was going to take care of me. It was all about me, you see. I laugh at my former self now, rolling my eyes at all the privilege that line of thinking is so heavily laced with.

I recall a conversation with mutual friends, who were married; the male portion agreeing with my husband, pointing to the economy and overlooking everything else and the female portion casually dismissing herself from the conversation by saying something along the lines of how she doesn’t get involved in politics, but rather puts her efforts toward being a good person. A line of thinking I know I once leaned heavily on, too, before privilege knocked on my door and so rudely introduced itself.

I’d go to work in the hospital and spend my breaks sifting through articles and texting bits and pieces to my other half, entering into debates only to be met with opposition, always. Even when we seemed to get to a place of agreement, the very next morning seemed to reset the clock and we’d be back at the beginning, re-debating the same thing.

It was exhausting.

And yet it seemed trivial. Surely couples who have been married for years don’t go their separate ways because they disagree on who is president. It felt much bigger than that, though.

Fast forward a year or two and I recall eating lunch with a friend, bitching about my marriage the way that some of us wives do. Knowing that my goal was to stay married and make it work I said something cliche about values and how – in the midst of things I couldn’t understand or didn’t want to accept – we at least held the same values.

I silently questioned myself the moment those words left my mouth; do we actually have shared values? I didn’t know anymore.

Fortunately, or unfortunately (perspective is always key), politics had nothing to do with our divorce. It’s a little of both – fortunate and unfortunate-, I guess, because it’d be a bummer if we couldn’t work out our political differences but it’s also awesome that enough other boundaries were crossed that we didn’t have to. See what I did there? Rotate the plate and you’re looking at your food from a whole new angle.

All this to say two things: one, if you’re in a marriage or relationship and vehemently disagree with your husband or partner’s point of view surrounding politics, I see you, I feel you, and the struggle is real. Also, how do you do it? And two, if politics hasn’t affected your life drastically negatively or positively, consider that you may be in a place of privilege. I didn’t vote because I didn’t think my vote mattered. I didn’t think the outcome mattered. I see now that I was only looking at it from my own privileged perspective. Today, I vote for everyone else first, and myself second. I hope you do, too.

Why Liberal Hearts Bleed and Conservatives Don’t

by Ashley filed under Politics
My mom sent me this article by Nigel Barber, for Psychology Today, I found it to be an interesting read so I thought I’d share.
Political liberals are “bleeding hearts” because they empathize so strongly with the sufferings of others. As Bill Clinton so succinctly phrased it, “I feel your pain.” When Republicans wanted to compete in the empathy department, they had to invent a new terminology to identify this strange bird. They called it a “compassionate conservative.”
One might ask why conservatives have, or are perceived as having, too little empathy. Why do liberals have too much? A widely-credited explanation is in terms of competing world views.
The conservative world view
Conservatives see the world as a challenging place in which there is always someone else who is ready to steal your lunch. Confronted by a potentially hostile environment, the best course is to take precautions and to ensure your own well-being and that of your family.
This precautionary stance helps to explain many of the distinctive traits of conservative Americans as well as right-wing politicians the world over. These traits may reflect either a proactive element, such as fighting to be winners in a competitive world. Or they can be defensive, involving measures to neutralize specific threats.
The threatening world view illuminates the conservative take on specific political issues in fairly obvious ways.
•Conservatives are pro-gun because they want to be able to defend themselves against criminal threats of any type.
•They are mostly religious because religious rituals foster feelings of safety in a dangerous world such that the most dangerous countries in the world are also the most religious
(1).
•They tend to be more hostile to immigrants, foreigners, and racial or ethnic minorities and to view them as more of a threat.
•They fear attacks by other nations and therefore support a strong military and a bellicose foreign policy on the theory that a good attack is the best defense.
•Apart from military defense, where government is an asset, conservatives fear government intrusions into their lives and particularly fear having their wealth eroded by taxation.
•They are pro-family because being surrounded by close relatives is the best defense against threats that surround them.
•They oppose welfare for the poor because this encourages dependence so that the failures of a society are parasites on the successes thereby inverting the proper incentive structure.
•They admire wealth because successful people are seen as having worked hard in pursuing a moral obligation to provide for themselves and their families in a difficult and uncertain world. 
The liberal world view
The liberal world view is mostly the opposite. Liberals take a more optimistic view of the world as being somewhat more benign. Government is a vehicle through which the citizens of a democracy can solve problems and improve the well-being and happiness of most people.
•Liberals feel that protection of citizens against crime is better left to police and that armed citizens are a threat to those around them.
•They are less religious than conservatives because they perceive the world around them as less threatening. Moreover, they rely more on science, and education, as a means to solve problems.
•Liberals are more welcoming to immigrants. They are less likely to view foreigners, and racial or ethnic minorities as a threat.
•They favor negotiation and consensus-building over warfare in foreign policy and do not believe in excessive military buildups that drain social spending.
•Liberals are happy to pay their taxes if they believe that the money is being used to improve the quality of life of others whether they are poor or rich. Instead of being a threat, the government reflects the will of the people.
•Liberals are less interested in family ties as a protective bubble.
•They support welfare programs for the poor because these may reduce child poverty, as well as reducing crime and social problems.
•Liberals are suspicious of wealth feeling that much of it is inherited or obtained through sharp business practices or outright corruption. They also feel that concentrating resources in the hands of the one percent impoverishes everyone else thereby undermining social trust
(1).
Conservatives see the world as a more threatening place because their brains predispose them to being fearful (2). They are also predisposed by brain biology to hating complexity and compromise. That would help to explain why politics can be so polarized, particularly in a rather conservative era like the present.
It also explains many of the quirky differences between Democrats and Republicans. My favorite is the mind-blowing fact that four times as many Republicans as Democrats have mud rooms in their homes (3). Got to protect your home from that contaminating mud.