Mommy Confessions

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I love being a mother, I’d never stray too far from that statement. I have been candid about the fact I think caring for a newborn is ridiculously difficult and I’ve shared my worries with bringing another child into the world when things with the first seem so calm and settled and enjoyable. Not for one second do I think raising these little rascals will always be peaches n’ cream. I’ve shared my feelings about the yin and yang of life, touching on motherhood being about moments in time and perspective. For the most part, I stick to the love story of raising Hooper but surely there are rough patches, exhausting times, and moments where I’ve wondered if I did everything I wanted before having children. It’s only normal, in my opinion. That’s why I practically shit my pants laughing so hard when I read about a segment on the Today show where a blogger turned author discussed what she’s coined “Mommy Confessions”. Some of the confessions are brutally honest, others are just down right funny. Here’s some confessions she shared:
I confess that most days, I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. Everyone thinks I have it all together — good wife, good mom, successful career — but I really don’t. I’m ready to stop pretending to be perfect now. 
I tried for seven years to get pregnant and now that I’m a mother, I wonder whether it was all worth it. 
If I have to watch Barney one more time, I may have to stick a fork in my eye. Actually, then I’d get some attention. Maybe not such a bad idea. 
I sometimes try to get sick, just so I have an excuse to go to sleep at 6:00 p.m. 
I joined a gym just for the free day care. I drop the kids off and read magazines and blogs in the locker room. 
I pretend to be happy being a stay-at-home mom but sometimes I feel like I’m slowly dying. I cry every night in the shower. This isn’t what I thought it would be. 
I kiss my young teenager good-bye in the morning as she leaves for school, rising above the hormone-fueled snarling and histrionics. Then I close the front door and flip her off, with both hands. 
I miss the career I gave up more than I miss my son when I go to the grocery store. But I always get to go back to him. 
Hidden in the pantry in a box labeled “flour” is top-of-the-line chocolate and a few joints. I rarely resort to it, but it’s a comfort knowing it’s there.
Here’s some of her “Mommy Manifesto” that also had me rolling and nodding in agreeance at the same time:
I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood, for without it, I recognize that I may end up institutionalized. Or, at the very least, completely miserable.
I shall not judge the mother in the grocery store who, upon entering, hits the candy aisle and doles out M&M’s to her screaming toddler. It is simply a survival mechanism.
I shall not compete with the mother who effortlessly bakes from scratch, purees her own baby food, or fashions breathtaking costumes from tissue paper. Motherhood is not a competition. The only ones who lose are the ones who race the fastest.
I shall shoot the parents of the screaming newborn on the airplane looks of compassion rather than resentment. I am fortunate to be able to ditch the kid upon landing. They, however, are not.
I shall never ask any woman whether she is, in fact, expecting. Ever.
I shall not question the mother who is wearing the same yoga pants, flip-flops, and T-shirt she wore to school pickup the day before. She has good reason.
I shall never claim to know everything about children other than my own (who still remain a mystery to me).
I shall hold the new babies belonging to friends and family, so they may shower and nap, which is all any new mother really wants.
I shall strive to pass down a healthy body image to my daughter. She deserves a mother who loves and respects herself; stretch marks, dimples, cellulite, and all.
I shall not preach the benefits of breast-feeding or circumcision or homeschooling or organic food or co-sleeping or crying it out to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business.
I shall try my hardest to never say never, for I just may end up with a loud mouthed, bikini-clad, water gun–shooting toddler of my very own.
I shall remember that no mother is perfect and that my children will thrive because of, and sometimes even in spite of me.
Honestly, all the excerpts are worth posting. You can check out the article yourself here. Definitely a good read. 

4 Responses

  • LOVE this!

    My favorite is: I kiss my young teenager good-bye in the morning as she leaves for school, rising above the hormone-fueled snarling and histrionics. Then I close the front door and flip her off, with both hands.

    I’ll have to keep that manifesto on hand if I’m ever a mom!

  • I love it!! it’s just scary how much i can relate to most of it!! I’ll have to check out the book!! Thanks!


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