Supporting your partner during pregnancy & birth

by Ashley filed under Pregnancy

AshleyWilly-197mattandtish AshleyWilly-198mattandtishThere’s been lots of time and space for introspection during this pregnancy and the implications of having a third have been weighing on me, and Willy, far more than say having a first or a second ever did.

I’ve admittedly been quite selfish with my feelings and desires during pregnancy and it hasn’t been until this third babe that I have realized such.

As much as motherhood has made me pro-female in so many ways, lately I’ve come to the realization that much of what we experience as birthing mothers firsthand is just as difficult for our partners to handle secondhand. I was always under the impression that us women, because we are the ones growing and carrying and birthing the baby, are the only ones allowed to be scared. I’ve realized that even if they aren’t the ones going through pregnancy or birth, they are still experiencing it in their own way and filtering emotions and anxieties and fears all the same.

This may all sound like nothing new to you, but this all was a recent revelation of mine; the idea that I’m not the only one that needs to be supported and cared for and heard during this pregnancy. This idea that the unknown, namely the birth of our third baby, is a shared fear; that the unknown can bring with it anxieties felt by both of us and that one persons fears are no more valid than the others.

Don’t get me wrong, I still think mothers (or simply women) are some of the strongest creatures around… but this pregnancy has taught me that my feelings toward this pregnancy are no more important than Willy’s simply because I’m the one carrying and birthing the baby. To watch the person you love most in this world birth a new being that is a part of you is no easy feat either; and frankly, sometimes I think it’s even harder to be a player on the sidelines. Sure, I fear all that is out of my control, but even more is out of Willy’s control.

What has your experience been like in supporting your partner through pregnancy and birth? Did you find that they too had fears and desires in terms of how they wanted things to play out and were those fears and desires in line with yours? Also, I’m 38 weeks… hard to believe this baby is coming so soon…

Images by Tish Carlson.

Soon to be three…

by Ashley filed under Pregnancy

Souther California Photographer-270 Souther California Photographer-275When I was pregnant with Van I felt a certain amount of trepidation, like adding another child was going to somehow compromise the love I had already established for Hooper. I guess the love for a first born is like that, would you agree?

Even after Van was born, I took just a bit longer to adjust. Sure, the love was instant and innate, but there was this feeling of hurry-up-and-become-fun that I think points to the notion that our love for our children only grows and so the love on the day they’re born kinda piddles in comparison to what it becomes when they actually have, well, personalities.

This pregnancy is so different in that respect; I’m so excited to add another to the mix, to give Hooper and Van another sibling. Perhaps it has everything to do with their own excitement; they’re old enough to understand the concept of having a sibling and they’re so eager to meet this little one. Hooper was still so young when Van was born, it was hardly worth explaining or preparing him for it.

And I have no feelings of hurry-up-and-become-fun, perhaps because I know that those days will inevitably come and that this will most likely be the last googly-eyed little munchkin I may have the privilege of bringing into the world. I’m so eager to soak in all the newborn-ness, even the hard parts…

The vision of the three of them together has my eyes all filled with hearts… like one of those silly cartoons where love is flowing out every orifice. Sure, I know there will be hard days and trying times ahead, but whatever trepidations I felt during my second pregnancy have been replaced with pure joy and excitement during this one.

Soon to be mother to three, a house of five…  and I can’t wait… though I will admit, it makes me a bit sad to think of this pregnancy ending. Pregnancy, in general, treats me well and those little kicks are something I treasure so greatly. Who’s with me?

An Interview, with Hooper

by Ashley filed under Hooper, Videos

I have to be honest when I say I don’t expect anyone to watch this the whole way through who does not know and love Hooper personally. But, alas, it’s these little interviews that bring Willy and I so much joy to look back on.

The highlights: If Hooper could go anywhere in the world, he’d chose Italy… even though I’ve been trying to sell him on Egypt. Also, the only take-away from our trip to Cuba is that he reluctantly gave a very select few of his toy cars away to the kids there and despite having seemingly enjoyed the act of giving in the moment, clearly has some regrets; regrets he’s holding hostility against me for. He values chocolate over money, wants two babies to magically come out of my belly instead of one and can’t wait to “love on” the new baby, and has wheels spinning in his little five-year-old head that wonder how – in fact – “papas give mamas babies”.

Love this kid.

The Bee & The Fox | Valentine’s Day Sale

by Ashley filed under The Bee & The Fox

the bee and the fox

Buy three, get one free  |  No coupon code needed, simply leave the style and size tee of equal or lesser value in the note section when you place your order  |  “All that you are is all that I’ll ever need”, Happy Valentine’s Day from The Bee & The Fox  |  Sale ends Sunday