First & Third Born

brothers San Clemente Family Photographer-42I intentionally have not googled anything in regards to any ‘middle child syndrome’ for fear of some self-fulfilling prophecy.

When I was pregnant with Sonny, I fooled myself into thinking there’d be no chance of such a thing trickling into our lives based on the fact Hooper and Van are so close in age; only 19 months separating them. I assumed Sonny would be a lone duck, which initiated my half-jokingly campaign for a fourth. I envisioned the boys being, well, bros and Sonny, who is 3.5 years younger than Van, being more-or-less on his own.

I’m still not sure what the ‘middle child syndrome’ is about, but I’m starting to gain some insight through my own observations (check me out, Google… didn’t need ya after all). Van has been the most challenging over the past few months and I can’t help but think that hindsight will draw a closer connection between his behavior and the arrival of Sonny and his new found position as the ‘middle child’.

Hooper is older and has lived to welcome a younger brother in Van, and now again, with Sonny. The transition has not only been easy for him, but it’s been filled with genuine brotherly love. The connection between Hooper and Sonny is strong and if I need help, Hooper is oftentimes the first I call on. And he seems to enjoy offering a helping hand. Even his teacher mentioned that he’s taken a liking to the responsibility of cleaning up the tables after centers, which I think coincides with the pride and fulfillment he feels when helping me with Sonny and household duties.

So while I want to take a needle and continuously poke at the center of my eyeballs when dealing with Van, I’m quite happy watching the innate connection between Hooper and Sonny. And I have a sneaking suspicion all of this has everything to do with this new-to-me middle child syndrome, that I really was hoping was not a thing but certainly is proving to be a thing. Unless it’s a age-related, because dem’ fucking fours (that’s what we call them) are just around the corner and we all know – or at least our experience has shown – nothing makes you want to take a needle to your eye more than the lows of a four-year-old.

In any event, let’s just concentrate on the beautiful connection between first and third born and then try your hand at convincing me this middle child thing will pass. Okay, thanks.