Portrait Series | December

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A portrait of my family once a month in 2016

Willy: Taught the boys about pulling his finger.

Hooper: Asked if the nipples on Jimmie’s belly are pimples, which led to a conversation about men having nipples regardless of the fact they don’t produce milk. This then led to him inquiring about the two ‘nipples’ (aka moles) on Willy’s head.

Van: Got upset with me for taking a stick away from him after he tried using it as a dart, my face being the dart board. Angry, he told me, “well when you grow up you’re going to be a carrot”. He followed that up with calling me a “pesky squeak”. ::scratches head::

Sonny: Graduated from his helmet that he’s had to wear for the purpose of reshaping his head. He looks better but more than that, he smells better. Also took his first steps.

Me: Tried calling Willy out for using the expression “cat’s pajamas” only to come to find out that it’s a real thing. ::scratches head::

Jimmie: Got to spend the Christmas holiday with my parents which translates to more walks than he’s had in an entire year. Thanks, mom.

Portrait Series | November

san-clemente-family-photographer-2241 san-clemente-family-photographer-2269A portrait of my family once a month in 2016

Willy: Earned the title of ‘piñata king’ at Hooper’s birthday party after arguably having more fun manning the piñata than the kids did trying to hit the damn thing and then promptly fell backyards over the grill, landing flat on his back and proving that it might be best to limit your alcohol intake at your kid’s birthday. Or not.

Hooper: Turned six and is all the sudden so grown up.

Van: Protested, “My legs are too tired. I can only walk to my candy”, said after we requested he work for his candy by doing a little jig.

Sonny: Like both of the boys that came before him, found the dog food and liked it.

Me: Hid in the shower after asking Van to close his eyes and count to five. We weren’t playing hide and seek. Catch my drift?

Jimmie: Isn’t a fan of the gates we put up on the stairs and can be found whimpering at either end whenever the dreaded separation from one of us occurs.

Portrait Series | September

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Willy: Threw his back out and has set our whole unpacking gig back quite a few steps. At the pace we’re going, it feels like we’ll be moving in for years.

Hooper: Dipped Van’s fry in hot sauce when he wasn’t looking and maliciously threw it back onto his plate.

Van: Got caught with his pants down in the backyard, taking a dump. He didn’t stop or defend his actions but simply said, “sorry, mom”.

Sonny: Now has a ‘hat’ to fix his ‘flat’. In other words, he’s under construction. Also, you don’t want to wake up next to his smelly head.

Me: All the sudden I have to hold the menu (or any piece of paper with writing on it) further away so I can see. Wtf? Like overnight flip of the switch.

Jimmie: Learned how to use the doggy door and followed it up with a butt-scootin’-romp all over the yard. It’s worth keeping him on a diet just to ensure he doesn’t outgrow that little door.

Portrait Series, 2016 | March

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Willy: expressed a desire to have his hair grow faster and asked if men can take prenatal vitamins.

Hooper: Reached full blown kid status after naturally ripping holes in two pairs of his jeans within the same week.

Van: Has been so strong willed as of late he has be wondering if the Leo within has surfaced or if the middle child phenomenon really is a thing.

Sonny: Consistently thinks my nipple is on my arm no matter how many times I direct his rooting mouth back to the center of my body.

Me: Combating some serious feelings of baby fever already… Wondering if I’ll ever be content calling it quits on this baby making gig.

Jimmie: Lost some degree of interest in Sonny just as soon as his smelly umbilical stump fell off.