A portrait of my family once a month in 2016

Willy: Had a meal he bought for a homeless man rejected because he said he was going vegan. He gave him $5 instead.

Hooper: Said he wants another baby and asked if he can give me his ‘seed’ instead of ‘papas’.

Van: Threatened to kick me in the penis if I didn’t give him a dollar.

Sonny: Finally took notice of who has been breastfeeding him. You know when they lock eyes with you and gently release your nipple from their mouth and smile as if to say ‘I see you now’.

Me: Dreading the biweekly shower I take because I’m starting to notice more hair coming out. So much for encapsulating my placenta.

Jimmie: Room clearing gas.