A Guest Post, from Sash @ Inked In Colour

Sash is one of those bloggers that pulls on my heart strings. I can read the first two sentences of any of her posts and always relate, instantly. She’s adventerous and raw, wild and free, loving and real. I wish Australia weren’t so far away because she’s a mother I’d like to cheers my glass to over and over again. Long live the blog world for making the whole world seem like a smaller place, a? I only wish it were…
I have heard one thing over and over again throughout my parenting journey. Children thrive on consistency. There are a thousand articles all over the internet shoving those words down the throats of unsuspecting parents: children thrive on consistency. In fact, they need it, according to many experts.
So if this is the way to raise children in our fast paced, consumer driven, western society… I have something that I must admit…
My name is Sash and I am… Inconsistent.
I am happily inconsistent. In fact, I thrive on inconsistency. I love nothing more than the thrill of change. The light and bright air of the open road. The breakfast for dinner. The pyjama days. The late nights under the covers watching movies when I know we “should” both be in bed.
I’ve tried to be consistent. I really have. I’ve tried to serve meals at the same time. I’ve tried to work “real” jobs and fold my laundry and wash my dishes and be organised. But I’m not any of those things. It feels like playing house, and whilst at first (after a glass or two of wine) it might feel novel… like all of a sudden I’m all grown up (am I alone in my late 20’s where I

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still feel like I’m light-years from being a grown up? surely not!)… but soon enough the novelty wears off and I throw the clothes in a heap and the dishes in the sink and I grab the paint and the chalk and the dinosaur tails and we escape real life into a world of make believe… or better… we escape to far off lands where we are surrounded by wonder and language and culture and the great unknown.

I’m a terribly inconsistent person. I’m an inconsistent blogger. I’m flighty and I get caught up in my own imagination and find myself easily tempted down the path less travelled. I spent months in India when I should have been studying… I went and lived in a bungalow on the side of a rice field and drank beer and played hookey from real life when the rest of my friends were climbing the corporate ladder. I have tried and tested a thousand and one lives and in the end found that none of them quite fit… I’m a single mother to a beautifully well adjusted, happy and joyful toddler who eats curry and dances to the symphony and laughs and licks and bites and drives me bat shit crazy and I love her to the end of the earth and back again… to infinity. And just a little bit more.
I’ve had people tell me that children crave stability. They like to sleep in their own fancy bedroom, that their own bedrooms and own beds and own space make them well adjusted human beings. I’ve been told that there are a hundred and one gadgets that will help us parent, that will allow us to be consistent right down to the sounds our children hear when they go to sleep. Children like to do the same things day in and day out because it makes them feel safe… say the articles. Inconsistency breeds unknowing which breeds fear which breeds instability which breeds… well, unhappiness. I call bullshit. I called it loud into the air off a Balinese volcano as we perch on the top, my baby and I… it was way past nap time and we were eating sticky rice and laughing at the wind. And you know what? We probably didn’t have a bath that day and I can guarantee we didn’t even care. I’m sure children do thrive on stability. I’m positive of it. These child psychologists and parenting experts and baby whispering guru’s are probably

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all right… but you know what they aren’t right about? The other side to the story. The side that says that kids thrive in all sorts
of lives in all sorts of ways all around the world. There is no one right way to raise a child. There are hundreds of right ways that are wrong ways from time to time. There is no one right way to do anything, ever. Kids thrive when surrounded by love. Be consistent with rules and routines or don’t be consistent, whatever. Just be yourself! Why don’t parenting articles say that? Screw the rules! Just be the parent you are with all of your heart because that’s all your kid really wants. They just want you…

I’m consistently inconsistent in so many areas of my life… but I consistently love her, my Bo. I consistently hold her when she cries and whisper stories to her and kiss her face and hold her hands and laugh with her and dance with her and take her on wild adventures and find her with arms wide open and sparkling eyes. She consistently licks my face and drives me to the edge and back again. She consistently laughs and reads and sings and locks me out of the bathroom.
I’m consistently in awe of this child that came from my body. This child I created. This child I grew and then nursed and held and nurtured from the comfort of chairs and beds and bungalows all around the world. She is me and she is not me all at once. She has my heart and she walks around with it, in her hands. Motherhood, man, it’s a wild ride. There is so much to see and so much to experience and so much joy and life and love right there… I just don’t have time to be watching the clock waiting for bedtime or snack time. Life’s too short… childhood too fleeting… Moments too blissful. Sometimes things work out just the way they should when you just stop trying so hard to do it right… and sometimes they don’t.
But that’s what tomorrow is for, right?
Thank you, Sash, for stopping by! Check out Inked in Colour by clicking here // Instagram // facebook

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12 Responses

  • Great post! Just like there are many ways to live a life, there are many ways to raise children. Like Sash says, kids are raised all over the world in drastically different environments. They’re adaptable. I think when the experts say kids like consistency, they are referring to consistency of spirit. If Sash (like many mothers, I’m sure) has always been free-spirited and a self-proclaimed “inconsistent” person, that’s what her children will know of her…and that will be come their stability and their comfort. They’d probably be thrown off if she started doing everything in a very structured way. Ultimately, kids need the consistency of love and that’s about it. That’s what I think, anyway.

    • I couldn’t agree more. Being consistent doesn’t mean you have to do things just like everyone else, rather you’re better off doing what you do consistently. Sash, this is such a great post. I’m so happy to have you here today.

  • Why on earth is the world so big and flights so expensive? I think we should somehow arrange an in the middle family adventure for 2015 (giving lots of time for saving). Seriously though. Why the hell not.

    Sarah – wine and inconsistency and the three of us would make for a bloody good time. No doubt.

    xox Big love to you ladies. Thanks for featuring me on your beautiful blog, my friend.

  • Love this post – Ashley I’ve been following your blog for a month or so and this is one of my top guest posts. I’m due my first in April and have been struggling with all of these ideas about do’s and don’ts! This touches my heart and makes sense. Thank you Sarah 🙂

    • Ignore the do’s and don’ts… your motherly insinct will guid you, trust it. Congrats on your pregnancy. And yes, Sash, this was one hell of a guest post.

  • I am very much inconsistent and not much I do is done by routine. I’ve tried the routine thing too but it’s just not me. I am more a ‘fly by the seat of my pants’ kind of person, and it applies to my parenting style too. I have had to enforce routine in some instances but mostly we just do whatever whenever. And it works perfectly for us.

  • I followed sash over here (i am mostly a lurker on her blog lol) and love this so much – sharing today for sure. I have often felt i needed more discipline for myself – one of my last “shoulds” and this helps me put it in a different light – i don’t “lack” discipline – i am just wonderfully inconsistent because that is how i am made – i don’t like every day to be the same (apart from reading every single day) and get bored easily. i THRIVE on mixing things up and sometimes my focus is on one thing to the detriment of my housekeeping ; ) Great post and nice to find a new to me blog today xx

  • this is probably the best parenting/motherhood post i have ever read, it’s made me feel giddy and full of wanderlust. what a beautiful inconsistent life you both have

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