These photos are from a few weeks back, when we were in Arizona to celebrate Willy’s grandparents 60th wedding anniversary. I had intentions of writing a post about what 60 years of love must be like before I realized that me writing on the subject would be like a caterpillar telling you what it must be like to be a butterfly.
What I can tell you, from the relatively short time Willy and I have been married, is that marriage is work in the same sense that children are work. Anyone who tells you they don’t have to work at their marriage and says raising their children was a breeze is lying. Or maybe they refuse to use the word “work” to describe what in actuality is an ongoing metamorphosis powered by love.
No matter how you chose to talk about it, marriage does not come without sacrifice and does not survive without communication. I shared some things I had learned in this post, but here are some other tidbits on marriage. These aren’t, by the way, meant to be my advice to you… Rather, these are things that little voice in my head whispers to myself. I know nothing about your relationship, only what works for us…
-Don’t forget about one another. When you have children, it’s easy to focus all your attention on them. I think most woman would agree that even buying things for yourself takes a backseat to buying things for your children instead. It’s easy to forget about your own needs, let alone the needs of your spouse. Children are great; They certainly are your most beautiful art project. But in the midst of loving them, you must remember to nurture the love for which their existence is founded upon. I remember observing relationships of my friends parents when I was growing up. There were those that seemed to get along but didn’t seem to be “in love”, so-to-say. Then were those that fought all the time, regardless of your presence. And then there were those that still touched each other, still gazed lovingly at one another across the room, and still chose to spend time with one another. It’s important, for me, for my children to see our love and feel like they are a part of it.
–Stay strong but not stubborn.
-Vent. It’s easy to keep things inside but it’s not so easy to keep them inside when they begin to compile ontop of one another. Sometimes something Willy is doing doesn’t bother me the first time, but by the fifth time I’m about ready to tear my hair out (oh lord, another hair reference? Really Ashley? Let it go, your hair will grow back…). I’m fortunate in the sense that Willy welcomes my vent sessions and, by the end of the ranting and raving, I think we both feel better. Venting is necessary to move forward. Almost always after we put it out on the table, it’s considered dealt with. I love that about our relationship.
-Life is like a Chinese finger trap; When it gets too tight, you have to relax. Keep it light. Life is hard. Work is hard. Caring for children is hard. So when you can, find humor in the everyday. I promise, it’s there.
Who knows, maybe in 57 more years I’ll be recapping the highs and the lows of marriage over a 60 year time span. Sixty years. I’ll let that sink in.
Have you let that marinate? So here’s to love and life and togetherness. Feel free to share what fuels your love and/or marriage.
Update: My blog is in 6th place over on Top Baby Blog! Thanks to all of you who keep voting 🙂 Prit-tee cool, prit-tee cool.