A Family of Three.

Sunday was my official due date. I picked the latest due date based not on dates (which gave me an earlier due date) but instead on ultrasounds done at seven and eight weeks, which apparently are more accurate. I stuck with the latest date possible for my own piece of mind. I’ve read that second babies typically come earlier and by allowing myself a longer cushion of time it seemed like I was providing myself with the best of safety nets. Though I mentally told myself I needed to prepare to go past my due date, honestly speaking, I didn’t think I actually would. But, here I am with a baby still bakin’ in my womb. Must be a pretty posh life in there.
We spent Sunday on the beach as a family. A family of three. And it dawned one me that even though it feels like this pregnancy is going on forever, Van will be here any day and then we will be four. My midwife said something to me at my last appointment that I truthfully hate to hear. She said, “You know, life is going to get very busy, even hard at times, once Van gets here. Try to relax and enjoy this time with Willy and Hooper”. I say I hate hearing that because it’s so easy for an outsider to say. So easy for an outsider to think logically. I remember people saying the same thing to me before Hooper was born and I vowed never to advise anyone expecting a child to make the most of the time before their child arrives. That’s because once you find out you’re pregnant, you spend the whole pregnancy adjusting your mindset and skillfully planning for the addition. It’s not like you start racing to cross things off your list once you become pregnant… If you planned for it, you do that stuff beforehand and spend the pregnancy, especially the end of the pregnancy, anticipating what’s inevitably going to come. It’s almost impossible to enjoy your time as just a couple because you really have no idea what you’re about to lose.
So as I sat there on the beach with my two guys, it dawned on me that there is a difference between this pregnancy and last: I am able to live in the moment and, as a result, I truly enjoyed our time as a family of three. The thought of it being my due date hardly even passed through my thoughts. I’m trying my best this week to find peace in the wait.

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7 Responses

  • I haven’t had children yet, so its difficult for me to understand where you are at the minute, but i know i would feel a little bit in limbo. I suppose you can take solice that soon you’ll be meeting Van, and Hooper will be a big brother!

    Hooper such an amazing name, what made you choose it?


  • Good luck to you! I am also preggo with number 2, but not due until mid-December. I have to say, i actually DO give the advice to people to enjoy those last weeks/days! I hope I never irritated anyone!! But for me, maybe because our first was a surprise, I was never in a rush. In one sense, there was that anxiety about ‘what will you look like,’ ‘what are we in for;’ but I guess with both of these pregnancies, I’m very aware of how life-changing the newborn is…and I’m cool with letting time ride!
    So glad you got to enjoy your beach day! I really hope you get the labor you want!

  • Good luck! I hope you get the natural delivery you want! I had all three of mine natural, but in a hospital. I always thought home birth would be so cool, but I was too scared (plus think my mom would kill me). Natural labor induction, I’ll tell you what worked for me all three times: making love. It’s embarrassing, but true! My first was 10 days overdue, so I had tried EVERYTHING.

  • I love seeing this post and I LOVE that you are so relaxed and enjoying your due date. I knew my son would be late, just like my daughter was. Our wedding anniversary was our due date and I was so uncomfortable waddling around downtown trying to enjoy the day. We induced with a breast pump a week and a half later and I had a med free delivery with this 10lb man child.
    I am hoping by baby #3 I can be more like you and just take in and enjoy everyday. I don’t even want to know my due date next time…not the 40 wk one anyway. Much better to prepare for a 42 weeker and just be surprised when they come before.

    • Ha, I read your comment and I think to myself, “who is this relaxed girl she’s referring to?”. I’m back to being inpatient today and want nothing more than this baby to come out of me. Maybe I need another family of three day at the beach to calm my nerves. I’m with you… I don’t find it at all useful to know my due date. I tried my best to mentally prepare for a 42 week due date based on my first birthing experience, but find myself struggling regardless. Nothing is worse than waiting. I’m trying my best to channel the chick that wrote this post, but I feel distant from her today. Ho hum.


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