My lovely friend Janet turned me on to this little book before Hooper was born. Gotta love the statement on the opening page: “Let’s get some things straight before I get old and uncool.”
So, to my dear Hooper & Van, mark my words before I’m wrinkled and shriveled and gumming my food, here are some rules to live by:
Stand up for the little guy. He’ll remember you.
Be a good listener. Don’t just wait your turn to talk.
On a road trip, offer to guy the first tank of gas.
Make a hipster’s day. Donate old clothes to charity.
Root for the home team, even when they stink.
Learn to sail.
Don’t gloat. A good fried will do it for you.
Never under any circumstances ask a woman if she is pregnant.
Don’t date the bartender.
Don’t be so eager to leave the kid’s table.
Get your pumpkins from a pumpkin patch.
Thank the bus driver.
Keep your passport current.
Write letters. On paper.
Drive across the county. Don’t rush.
Always stop at a lemonade stand. Tip well.
If you have to make more than one substitution, order something else.
You won’t always be the strongest or fastest. You can be the toughest.
When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.
When making an acceptance speech, keep it short, lose the notes, and thank your dad.